This basically came from free writing for a course I was taking a year ago. We had to submit something, and this was the best I could offer at the time. It was inspired by a few people who were also in the class.
Today Is Indie Emptiness
by R. Cypress
March 2nd – Today, I jumped on an old man’s back, put him in a chokehold and told him to stop bringing his garbage back into our house. This is a metaphor.
March 4th – Today, I wrote a twenty-page short story about the first fart I released after turning twenty-three. It is really about a fear of growing old and never becoming relevant.
March 5th – Today, I created an imaginary girl and for several hours we were in an intensely passionate relationship. I dumped the girl but will use the experience to fuel my future art. I’ve already written a short story about her. It is titled “The Way She Ate Bacon.” It is a story about how desperation for love can cause so many problems after the thrill is gone. B.B. King. B.B. Heartbroken.
March 7th – Today, two birds simultaneously pooped on my car. After it happened, I sat on the hood and wrote a poem about the occurrence. The poem has yet to be titled, but it is about synchronicity and beauty. I wish I were a bird so I could poop on people’s cars. I could also bathe in front of the public.
March 9th – Today is a foreigner to my world. I will take it by the hand and try to be a decent cicerone.
March 10th – Today, I saw a girl, a complete stranger, in a restaurant. I wrote her a short letter telling her why I would never date her, explaining that it just wouldn’t work. I pretty much broke up with a stranger. But don’t we go our whole lives being strangers, even to ourselves? What exactly am I? What is my purpose?
March 11th – Today, I dressed up as a mime and refused to speak to people. This is not a metaphor. It actually happened.
March 12th – Today, I bought a book on Buddhism. In the near future, I will get deep into Buddhism.
March 14th – Today, I bought a book on judo. In a few weeks, I will get deep into judo.
March 15th – Today, I heard someone talking about binary numbers. In the next few months, I will do ample research on binary numbers.
March 16th – Today, I wore a white shirt with the words “Free Me” on the front. I wrote that on there. I wrote it in black. On the back I wrote a poem. It goes:
Bang, Bang shotgun
Little Johnny is having fun.
Oh no, goes the girl
Another mistake comes into the world.
It’s a poem about investing too much into the stock market. In the near future, I’m going to do ample research on the stock market.
March 18th – Today, I went to a clown party. Everyone there was dressed up as clowns. It seems silly, but the party was really about the façade that people put on in their everyday lives.
March 22nd – Today, I bought a miniskirt and turned it into a headband. I took a few cereal boxes and made a hat out of them. I wore that hat and the headband all day. I also bought a book on Asian Cuisine. I’m about to really get into Asian Cuisine. I’m about to really get into Asian people. It’s going to look like a fetish. The only people I will hang out with will be Asians who speak perfect English.
March 24th – Today, I cut off a bunch of my pubic hairs and spelled the word “Love” with them. This piece of art is now on my wall.
March 26th – Today, I went to a meeting about the perils facing black youth in America. It was deep. I feel deep. I now feel like writing poems that say, “Woe is us, but we keep on going.” In the near future, I plan to do ample research on conspiracies against black America.
March 27th – Today, I bought a book that teaches people to play the guitar. I already have a guitar. In about two weeks, I will start working on learning how to play it. I will put a band together. We will sing songs about the first girl I broke up with earlier this month. The songs will be nautical-themed metaphors. I already got “S.S. Misery” and “The Maiden Voyage,” for titles. I will play the guitar, the accordion, the spoons, and melodica for my band.
March 30th – Today, I tried to explain the theory behind Schrodinger’s Cat to a four-year-old. I also posted a Confucius quote on my door. The quote replaced a Warhol quote. The Warhol quote replaced a Cookie Monster quote. I can’t remember who was on there before that. I think it was Patti Smith.
April 2nd – Today, my mom called and told me that her cancer was back. I am supposed to go with her to treatment in a few weeks.
April 3rd – Today, I randomly broke down and cried several times. The day was a complete waste.
April 16th – Today was all conflict.
April 17th – Today was more conflict, but the voice shouting “Don’t!” and “Stop!” has won again.
April 20th – Today is a naked, screaming baby hanging out the passenger window of a car going the exact speed limit. Tonight, I will meditate myself to Andromeda.
April 22th – Today, an acquaintance talked to me about Hinduism. It is time to start doing ample research on Hinduism.
April 24th – Today, I bought a book about marionettes. In the very near future, I will start trying to make my own. They will be real. They will also be metaphors.